Should not I spare Nineveh?

Note: This is kind of a journal entry- no pictures. :)

I just finished a book called “The Peacegiver” by James L Ferrell and would highly recommend it. It’s a fictional story of a man and wife struggling in their relationship and the man has dreams/visions that help him see the need for the atonement in his life. It has made me realize how much I need the atonement in my life and has given me a deeper insight into what the atonement is, other than just the Savior suffering for my sins.

There are a few parts that were particularly poignant to me. The husband fears that he will fall back into old habits and old sins and that he won’t be able to sustain his change of heart. He is gently reminded that’s what happens in this mortal life: “The Lord does not give you a new heart only once. He gives you a new heart every time you come to him repentantly, in faith, believing that you will receive. We need the gift of a new heart every day.” There are small things that happen every day of my life that I wish I could take back, that I wish I wouldn’t have said or done, that I wish I would have done. I get so frustrated when I commit the same sin twice and wonder why I can’t just get it right all the time! That’s why we need a new heart every day, because we are not, and will never be perfect. In fact these infractions serve as a reminder of how much we need our Savior, and consequently draws us closer to Him, and ultimately to salvation. 

There is an analogy in the book that I also love and helps me understand a little bit better how the Savior can love so unconditionally.  The author points out that when we hurt something on our bodies, in the case of the husband in the story, his shoulder, we don’t get angry at it, treat it roughly, cause it more pain, but on the contrary, “we dress it, and succor it, and nurse it back to health. If anything, we love most those parts of us that bring us the most pain. For they need us the most, and we, them.” In the scriptures it says that we are all members of Christ’s body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Of course, if we are “injured” he is not going to chastise us or hurt us more, but offer us peace and healing. It then says, as in the scriptures, that we need to be one flesh with our spouse. How differently we would treat our spouse if they were literally a part of us, and every time we hurt them, it in turn, literally hurt our self (when in actuality, eternally it does).

I also loved how the author explained that not only did Christ suffer for our sins, but when he was in the garden, he experienced every temptation and sinful urge that we will ever have. Because He overcame every personal struggle that I have had or will ever have, He has proved and provided a way to avoid and overcome these temptations and struggles. I don’t know if that adequately describes what I understand, but that is kind of the gist of it.

There were so many other wonderful insights into forgiveness and begrudging others that I just can’t eloquently explain. It was an easy read and made it easy to apply the lessons into my own personal relationships. It definitely increased my testimony of the Savior and His atonement. And even though I wouldn’t consider myself a “huge sinner,” I recognize now how much more I need the atonement in my life and feel a deeper understanding and appreciation for it. I love my Savior.