I wish....

I wish I could go back four hours in time and change how I reacted. We were at the store grocery shopping this morning. My kids did just fine the whole trip. They were happy and pleasant and didn't whine or anything the whole time. Eventually Carter had to hop out of the cart because the groceries were taking over. He did a great job walking next to me, like he always does. When we got to the check out line I started unloading groceries and Carter is rummaging through all the random junk they keep in the checkout lines. Pretty soon he spots a bike that some kid left at the back of the line. He goes back to play with it. Pretty soon I see him run past our checkout line. I am pretty sure he thought that we were the next aisle over. So I called out, "Carter, come back! You passed us!" Nothing. He must not have heard, though every other person in the store surely did. So I stand on this little platform and can't see him within the next couple of aisles. So I excuse myself from my line, while leaving Andi in the cart surrounded by strangers (smart thinking), and run down a couple aisles looking for Carter, yelling his name. Some guy says he's down a couple more aisles. So I run down there and he's not there. Some lady said she just saw a little boy running towards the exit. Great. I sprint over to the exit and luckily the worker at the door has him stopped. How did he get all the way there within, literally, 20 seconds?!

Here is where I wish I would have reacted differently. Instead of being relieved that he was safe and not roadkill in the middle of the parking lot, or thinking about how terrified this poor little three year old was thinking that his mom and sister had forgotten him in the store, I was MAD! I was embarrassed that my kid was the runaway and that I was the mom that couldn't keep track of her kid in the store. I was embarrassed that the pregnant lady with two toddlers couldn't keep it together. I was mad that he made me abandon Andi in the checkout line to go running after him. I was thinking only about ME. So, instead of giving him a big hug and telling him I was so glad he was okay, I yanked him into my arms, squeezed his little face while I quietly yelled at him for running away. Sure wish I could have a redo on that one. But, alas, I cannot. So I guess I'll try to learn from this experience and remember how horribly I reacted and try to be better, more patient, more kind, and more selfless next time.